Big Feelings, Little Learners: Teaching Self-Regulation in the Nursery Years

The early years of a child’s life are a whirlwind of discovery, emotions, and growth. During this time, children are not only learning how to count or recognise colours—they're also beginning to understand and manage their emotions.

Teaching self-regulation in the nursery years is one of the most important building blocks for lifelong emotional well-being, resilience, and social success. In nurturing nursery settings, educators play a vital role in helping little learners recognise big feelings and develop the tools to navigate them.

Why Self-Regulation Matters from the Start

Self-regulation is the ability to manage emotions, control impulses, and adapt to social situations. For young children, these skills don’t come automatically—they are taught through consistent guidance, modelling, and safe environments. At schools in Wembley Park, for example, nursery educators focus not only on academic readiness but also on emotional literacy. Learning to share, wait for a turn, or express frustration using words rather than outbursts are all early milestones in emotional development.

In these early years, when children experience overwhelming feelings—be it joy, sadness, anger, or excitement—it’s essential they have supportive adults who help them label and understand what they’re feeling. This helps lay the foundation for mental wellness and positive behaviour in later stages of schooling and life.

How Nursery Settings Teach Emotional Regulation

The classroom environment plays a major role in supporting emotional development. At St Christopher's School, for instance, educators integrate emotional literacy and mindfulness practices into the daily routine. Whether it’s a quiet space for calming down, a storytime that explores feelings, or guided breathing exercises before transitions, these moments give children the tools to recognise emotions and respond to them appropriately.

Visual aids like emotion wheels, mood charts, and feeling puppets help children identify what they’re feeling even before they have the words. Teachers gently guide children through those feelings, offering vocabulary and strategies such as “take a deep breath,” or “use your words,” reinforcing emotional control with kindness and consistency.

Play as a Pathway to Self-Regulation

Play-based learning is central to nursery education—and it’s also an ideal way to teach self-regulation. Through cooperative games, imaginative role-play, and problem-solving tasks, children learn to manage disappointment, negotiate rules, and consider others’ feelings.

For example, a group of children building a block tower learns to take turns, compromise on design, and handle setbacks when the structure tumbles. These seemingly simple interactions are actually complex lessons in emotional awareness and resilience.

The Role of Adults in Modelling Calm and Control

Children mirror what they see. When teachers demonstrate calm behaviour during a challenge, or respond empathetically to a child’s distress, they model how to self-regulate. This modelling, repeated consistently, becomes internalised over time.

Educators also work closely with parents, offering insights and tools to reinforce emotional learning at home. Consistency between nursery and home settings helps children feel secure and supported as they grow into emotionally balanced individuals.

Conclusion

While ABCs and 123s are often the focus of early education, emotional literacy and self-regulation are equally crucial. The nursery years offer a golden opportunity to equip children with the tools they need to manage their emotions, build healthy relationships, and confidently engage with the world around them.

By providing safe spaces, intentional teaching, and nurturing relationships, nursery schools help shape emotionally intelligent, empathetic, and resilient young learners. These skills, once rooted in early childhood, become the silent strength behind future academic and personal success—proving that when we teach children to understand their feelings, we give them the power to thrive.